5 Ideas to Embrace Your Sexy

Life isn’t always fair, with troubling family matters, complicated work schedules and bills to pay, it’s easy to forget to put yourself first. But as the beautiful human you are, you should treat yourself and splurge on items or experiences that make you feel happy and sexy. Whether it’s photo shoots or black lace lingerie, these ideas can help foster new ways to love yourself. Without further ado, here are five ideas to embrace your sexy: 

1. Lingerie 

Lingerie is an excellent way to express yourself!

Whether it’s in the form of a costume, a bra, or a crotchless set, lingerie never stops allowing you to celebrate your beautiful body. Due to lingerie’s fun and flirty style, you can choose to mix up your style whenever you wish too. From a large collection of fabrics, including satin, lace, leather, and fishnet, you can be whoever you want to be.

While some people buy lingerie as a means to impress another individual lingerie should be first loved by the person wearing it. Instead of rocking the outfit only when someone else is in the room, soak up your beauty in the mirror, and have your own kind of fun too! 

2. Cotton Briefs 

Cotton briefs are one of the more unspoken pair of panties. While thongs, cheeky’s, and g-strings are discussed immensely for their likeability to impress your significant other. Cotton briefs are just as sexy and perhaps the queen of the underwear drawer. Whether embossed with lace, covered in a cute pattern or featuring a solid color, they embrace your natural beauty. So don’t hesitate rock those cotton briefs like the goddess you are!

3. Sex Toys  

Sometimes you just need to spice things up.

Sex toys can certainly do the trick. Whether you want a new vibrator or something more sultry like handcuffs or nipple clamps. You can embrace your body to make yourself feel happy and sexy, like never before.

While sex toys can be expensive, there are alternate routes you can take to get more bang for your buck. For example, you can subscribe to a sex toy subscription box. While you might not always receive exactly what you want, each week a fun surprise will arrive at your door!

4. Pole Dance classes

Some may say it’s “oh so scandalous,” but it can make you smile for days. Taking a pole dance class is not only a great way to exercise your muscles, but it’s perfect for letting your seductiveness come out to play.

With energized music, and guided by professionals, you can learn a variety of moves including chair dances, floor moves, and pole tricks. While taking a pole dance class isn’t for everyone, for those interested, it’s certainly a great opportunity to celebrate yourself!

5. Boudoir Photo Shoot   

Okay, this is one activity everyone should try at least once! Filled with body positivity, boudoir photo shoots allow you to showcase yourself in a variety of shots in order to display the beauty of you.

While boudoir photo shoots take time to create, you will be the star of the show. With direction from you, the photo studio styles your hair and makeup. In addition, the studio may also have various sets and props for you to use for your photo shoot.

Due to all of these luxuries, boudoir photo shoots can be expensive; however, they are well worth the cost. The images from the photo shoot will not only be breathtaking, but the entire experience will be one to remember!

Now off you go, lovelies embrace your natural curves! 

Opinion: Don’t Tell Me to Smile

When taking a picture of yourself or someone else there’s a moment, ever slight it maybe but society has taught you to smile and click. Since smiling is often viewed as an expression of happiness, joy, and even openness, it’s been valued highly as a positive expression to make when taking a photograph. Some job sites, dating apps, and even online media sites encourage users to post profile pictures where a person is clearly seen smiling. While other expressions could be taken as serious, overwhelmed, or confused. As any person has, I’ve taken selfies, full-body pictures, and probably pictures that are less flattering than I would like them to be. However, sometimes, I don’t feel like smiling and saying cheese. Not every day is a walk in the park where the birds sing, and the sun shines. Sometimes you just want to be yourself, and that might include smiling less than usual. 

One day, I was feeling adventurous, and I uploaded my pictures onto a dating app as one does in today’s society, but I was astonished at the feedback I received. “Woah why so serious?” one person remarked. Another added, “You should smile more if you did you would get more likes.” But why should I and anyone for that matter feel compelled to smile at all? Smiling is only an expression of enjoyment, delight, and perhaps candor. It doesn’t mean you are cheerful or you’re in a state of glee. It only alludes to the fact that you can have those qualities. But if you showcase yourself free of those expressions and instead smirk into the camera or simply stare the judgment given to you is that of a negative response. 

As the saying goes, “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” A photo is just that a picture of a time that was happy, made to look happy, or taken to just be taken. Saying phrases like “smile more” or “you should smile” only bring an element of inauthenticity to the scene. If a person wants to smile, he or she will do so. Being aware of the comments you make and their effect on someone else can greatly broaden a person’s perspective. Unlike what society tells you, not everyone feels the need to smile a big grin in a photograph whether it’s for reasons of insecurities, nervousness, or other intentions, and that’s okay. It’s okay to be yourself and showcase your face in any frame from smiling happily to bored and lonely.   

Next time you’re going to take a picture don’t try to force a smile instead let your expressions happen naturally!

Seeking Self-Worth From a Girl who Knows

Have you ever went on a dating app to receive compliments? Have you ever posted a picture just to receive comments on how good you look? How about texted someone you didn’t like to have a conversation? Yeah, I have too… 

My Story

Hello, my name is Hailey, and I’m addicted to attention. 

At first, I didn’t go looking for attention.  As any teenager wanted, I wanted to be loved. But how to find that love was a question I didn’t have an answer for, so I created a dating profile in hopes I would find the prince charming of my dreams. I included a witty bio and added two or three decent photos of me. I didn’t think anything would happen. But in seconds, messages started to appear saying I was gorgeous, beautiful, possibly sent from the heavens. What was I supposed to do with that information?  I believed (at least my adolescent self believed) I wasn’t one bit of what they claimed I to be. I wasn’t pretty, nor was I gorgeous. I didn’t stand out among the rest; I was simply invisible. I wanted to believe what they said merely because it was someone from the opposite sex who could be attracted to me. Thirty conversations later and a slew of compliments, and I began to become confident in my looks. Suddenly I began buying shorter shorts, and dresses that accented my curves because I wanted to be noticed. 

I knew the dating app was not good for my mental health; I mean, how could texting thirteen guys all at once be good for me? But for some reason, I couldn’t get rid of it. I wanted to hear the compliments guys gave me. I wanted to have conversations with other people. I wanted, and wanted but needed more than anything to see that notification light on the top of my phone, blinking away telling me someone out there wanted to talk to me. Knowing that someone wanted to know my favorite color or perhaps my dream job indicting to me that they saw something in me that they wanted to know more about. Whether they were texting five or fifteen other women didn’t matter to me, because at least I was one of them. Finally, somehow in some small way, I mattered to someone, and that’s all I really needed, or so I thought. 

I didn’t see the effects of my attention addiction until guys would no longer compliment me anymore. Soon I would lose interest in the conversation, and guys would stop texting me altogether. My self-esteem soon plummeted and any thought that one day I would find the love of my life did too. No longer did I walk around with the spirit that I was pretty and interesting to talk too. Instead, I found myself crying and in a haze, because no guy wanted to talk to me.  

But with the help of family and friends, I soon realized I had a problem. I had become addicted to the attention guys gave me. Without it, I felt like I was nothing simply a spec of dirt they could stomp on at any moment. But with it, I was someone to be treasured, adored, and loved. I was lost.

My Five Tips

But with the help of these five tips, I’ve come to understand my addiction as they assisted me in coping with my need for attention. If you find yourself looking to others to find your confidence or simply feel the need to text many people at once give some of these ideas a try. 

1. Distract yourself 

There are many ways in which you can distract yourself from wanting attention. There is the conventional way of diving head first into your daily activities which can work for some people. Other people like the distraction of hanging out with friends and watching TV. However, I diverted my attention from boys in a different way. I chose to think positively through a notification stream. Instead of having random conversations, I downloaded apps that allowed me to think positively about myself and the world around me. Apps like daily facts, daily horoscope, and daily quotes allowed me to be notified at random times, thus changing the way I viewed attention. No longer did I need the constant texts since these notifications helped me feel as if I wasn’t alone. For once, I felt like I was in control of who I wanted to be. Perhaps by distracting yourself with apps, you’re interested in it could do the same for you too. 

2. Find value in what you do  

To some degree, I needed those constant reminders that I was pretty because I had nothing else to cling to. I didn’t have a purpose if you will. Finding value in the activities you like and the work you do is an essential part of loving yourself. Learning how to value your talent and recognize that you are needed not only helps with your self-esteem but can make you learn new things about yourself too. 

3. Allow yourself to grow 

You may think you’re attention seeking behavior is who you are at your core as I did. But allow yourself to grow as you explore the other sides of yourself that are positive. If you like to make cakes, then experiment with baking and study baking practices. Allow yourself to have new experiences and even make mistakes once and awhile. Just because you like attention doesn’t mean that’s who you are. 

4. Be honest with yourself  

After a year with minimal attention from guys, I sat down and took a hard look at myself. Did I like who I had become? Was I better off without the attention of guys? The answer was yes. It’s important, to be honest with yourself about what is good and bad for your mental health. Just because something feels good doesn’t mean that it’s good for the right reasons. Be honest with yourself for why you like the feeling of attention or why you like to be without it.   

5. Love who you are    

Even at my highest points, I’ve come to understand that loving myself is a journey. No one can give you the answer or a special code to suddenly spin around and start loving yourself. Instead, sometimes, you need to reflect, forgive, and move forward. Other times you just need to find what you’re looking for whether it be in yourself or in life. Loving yourself takes time. But it’s important to remember to love yourself for the good and the bad: for the mistakes, for the failures, for the triumphs, and the wins. Love yourself for everything you are not just one part of you. 

If you’ve experienced or are experiencing any type of attention-seeking behavior, understand that you are NOT alone.